The relay connection only had `secure`, so with `secure: false` nodemailer
still upgraded to STARTTLS whenever the server advertised it, and there was
no way to talk cleartext to such a server. Pass nodemailer's `ignoreTLS`
through as `ignoreTLS` on the relay config, wired to
--outgoing-ignore-tls / MAILDEV_OUTGOING_IGNORE_TLS / `outgoingIgnoreTls`.
SMTPConnection only calls the connect() callback once the handshake
succeeds; a refused or timed out connection is emitted as an 'error'
event, which was only logged. relay() then never settled, so its finally
block (which now releases the email stream) never ran, auto-relay held
the incoming SMTP transaction open without a reply, and the REST relay
request hung. Reject the connect promise from the 'error' handler.
relayEmail opens a read stream on the .eml file for every relay, and only
client.send() ever consumed it. When the auto-relay rules left no
recipients, or the outgoing server failed the send (e.g. rejected a
recipient), the stream was never read or destroyed and its file
descriptor stayed open. Destroy it on the early return and in the finally
block; after a successful send it is already fully read, so that is a
no-op.